Friday, July 9, 2010

It's been 7 days since I've seen The Z-Man and The Princess. Their dad asked if he could "have" them last week. He has a new job and is trying to be around more often. He wants to help out and give me a break. I still didn't want to say yes because what would I do if I didn't have the kids to take care of?

Last summer they spent a week with their Grandma. I remember missing them like crazy. I worked late because I didn't want to go home to an empty house. When I did leave work, I drove around aimlessly until I realized I had to face reality. I was a free woman for a week with absolutely nothing to do with myself.

You see, I used to cherish the weekends when The Ex-Factor picked up the kids. I was exhausted from work and mommy duty. My Love and I would make plans to p-a-r-t-y. I couldn't wait to get a break. Then something changed inside of me. I would say in the last 4-6 months I found my groove. I thrived in the chaos of school drop offs, a full day of work, picking up the kids, dinner, laundry, family time. I would go for weeks then eventually crash and burn. Nevertheless it was my routine. I found comfort in the craziness.

As my kids grow older, their need for me changes. I've spent the last 7 days missing my kids. I've also spent the time reconnecting with friends, with my Love and most importantly with myself. I learned that while the kids may be away, I am not alone.

I'm looking forward to loving on my kids for the next day and half until they take off for their next summer adventure. I'll spend the next 8 days, just being Chantel. I'm learning that as much I like to be on the go, with the kids in tow...I really do need the break. And, I'm okay with that.


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