Consistency...or the lack thereof

i have none! In anything that I do. Exercising, weight loss, checking voice mails, returning phone calls, replying to emails, cleaning, quitting smoking, remembering to do shit. I'm so spacey and inconsistent, it's rather remarkable that I actually make it through each day. Scratch that, I barely make it without a glass of wine at night to chill me out.

I've been wanting to blog about so much stuff that has happened. I'm just not consistent With logging into my blog, writing, getting pics together. I suck at this. I don't want to suck. I was really on a roll last month. I log in here and can't believe that my last post was on June 9th. Yea ummm, I suck at this.

I spend a lot of time on Twitter, reading more than interacting lately, and reading various Mommy blogs that make me laugh. Then I think, how in the hell do these women have time to write? So much. Every day. I don't know who works and who doesn't. Can I blame the fact that I work on my blog writing/posting failure? I don't know but I'm gonna run with it. Work, plus single parenting two children, throw in trying to have a life, my love affair with sleeping and you have what is so far Chantelligence. :(

I told many people about my blog, very early on and honestly, I now regret it. These are some of the people in my life who caution me about what I write and cursing and who may see it blah blah blah. I think that has held me back a lot. I want to say something but then I stop because what if so and so thinks this about me. Whatever. I know I'm not the only blogger out there with that problem. Unlike me, they charge full steam ahead and said F* it. I'm going to take a page out of their book and say F* it.

I started this damn thing to have a place where I could write and speak freely. Instead it's hanging me up. I need a place where I can vent and say how I really feel. If I keep all this shit inside me; well, visiting hours end at 7pm at the Loony Bin.