The Laundry Lottery

I hate laundry. Who doesn't? All that sorting, measuring, washing, drying and folding. When my laundry room and the various laundry baskets are overflowing, I seriously consider moving to a nudist colony. Don't you?

One rule in my house is that I absolutely do not check and empty pockets of any kind. If I'm washing my 12 year old's underwear and the 7 year old's used to be white but now black socks, I'd like to limit contact with my delicate hands. The least they can do is make sure anything they hold dear is safe in their room.

Despite my constant reminders to check pockets before putting their clothes in the hamper, IT NEVER HAPPENS!

In tonight's edition of The Laundry Lottery, take a gander of what I've found. Can you guess who this week's culprit was?

Wordless Wednesday: Homecoming

 

El Alfabeto

The Z-Man is taking Gifted and Talented Spanish this year. When he successfully completes the full year course, he will earn one credit towards his High School Foreign Language requirement. What all this means, is that I make gorgeous and incredibly smart babies.

One month into school and they are studying the alphabet or El Alfabeto. They are also learning the days of the week, months of the year and counting. His teacher, Senora A. plays this video for them during class. When the Z-Man showed it to me, I couldn't stop bouncing to the beat. I've had this song playing in my head on repeat. You will too. You're welcome.

Happy First Day of School

Today I am the proud momma of a 7th Grader!

I can't believe my little peanut is now a 2nd Grader!

She's growing up way to fast.

Twelve

Happy 12th Birthday to the most handsome, intelligent, funny, athletic,

artistic, thoughtful, polite, respectful, son a mom could ever ask for.

You may be taller than me, but I'm still the boss!

Love,

Mom

Redefined

It's been 7 days since I've seen The Z-Man and The Princess. Their dad asked if he could "have" them last week. He has a new job and is trying to be around more often. He wants to help out and give me a break. I still didn't want to say yes because what would I do if I didn't have the kids to take care of?

Last summer they spent a week with their Grandma. I remember missing them like crazy. I worked late because I didn't want to go home to an empty house. When I did leave work, I drove around aimlessly until I realized I had to face reality. I was a free woman for a week with absolutely nothing to do with myself.

You see, I used to cherish the weekends when The Ex-Factor picked up the kids. I was exhausted from work and mommy duty. My Love and I would make plans to p-a-r-t-y. I couldn't wait to get a break. Then something changed inside of me. I would say in the last 4-6 months I found my groove. I thrived in the chaos of school drop offs, a full day of work, picking up the kids, dinner, laundry, family time. I would go for weeks then eventually crash and burn. Nevertheless it was my routine. I found comfort in the craziness.

As my kids grow older, their need for me changes. I've spent the last 7 days missing my kids. I've also spent the time reconnecting with friends, with my Love and most importantly with myself. I learned that while the kids may be away, I am not alone.

I'm looking forward to loving on my kids for the next day and half until they take off for their next summer adventure. I'll spend the next 8 days, just being Chantel. I'm learning that as much I like to be on the go, with the kids in tow...I really do need the break. And, I'm okay with that.

Joints

Scene: Home from football practice and a quick dinner with friends. We walk in the house and the kids and I are in a great mood. It's a combination of the warm weather and a busy but exciting weekend ahead of us. I'm getting The Princess ready for a bath. The Z-Man comes into the bathroom and says:

The Z-Man: Mom, I was talking to my friend yesterday and he was telling me about this guy that had two joints.

Me: *ears perk up* Joints? Huh? What? Who?

The Z-Man: Yeah this guy has two joints. My friend saw it on TV.

Me: I'm sorry, I don't get it. Joints as in Marijuana? *heart racing*

The Z-Man: No, mom. *laughing* His arms. He could bend them like this. *attempts to contort his arms*

Me: Oh, you mean double jointed. Double. Jointed. Yeah, that's pretty crazy isn't it. I wouldn't want my arms to bend that way. It's creepy.

The Z-Man: Yeah, it looks like it hurts. *walks away*

Me: *faints*

"Going Out"

Have I told ya'll that The Z-Man has a girlfriend? Well, had. It was his 3rd 4th "girlfriend" of the school year. Yes, we're talking the Sixth Grade.

At the beginning of the school year he couldn't care less about girls. His best friend however is girl crazy and has been for awhile. He snatched up his first girlfriend fairly quickly. The Z-Man was neither here nor there. It was a non-issue.

Fast forward to this past Christmas. He wanted to buy his then girlfriend a small gift. I gave him a $10 limit and set him loose in Wal-mart since we were already there. He told me about the girlfriend and his desire to get her a gift before winter break, the day BEFORE winter break. I have no idea where he learned this degree of procrastination. Not. A. Clue.

When he gave me grief over his $10 gift limit, I didn't have the heart to tell him it wouldn't last. It's the 6th grade for Christ's sake! I predicted the end of the relationship well before he did. As him mom, I try not to play the role of dream crusher. At least not around the Holidays. A few months pass by and this girlfriend decided she would rather be friends. I hope it wasn't the cheap jewelry.

His most recent "relationship" didn't last very long. The Z-Man found himself smack dab in the middle of D-R-A-M-A! He said, she said, hearsay and hurt feelings. This girlfriend was told that The Z-Man only went out with her because he felt sorry for her. I knew this wasn't true and The Z-Man tried to tell her the truth but the girl ended it. She'd rather be single then have a pity boyfriend. I have to admire her level of self esteem and courage at this age.

I was talking to a friend today who was genuinely upset with me that I "let" The Z-Man talk to girls on the phone, receive and send text messages and have a "girlfriend". I never thought I would feel this way but now that I'm in the midst of all, it's okay with me. To a degree.

I remember 6th grade. It was the year I wore blue eyeshadow and went through half a day of school with a pink sponge roller still fastened to my bangs. It was a year of crushes, prank phones calls, changing in front of other girls while on the rag and other assorted nightmares.

But this isn't 1990. I'm not stupid. I talk to The Z-Man often about girls, what he thinks about them, what "going out" or "dating" means to him, sex and other uncomfortable because seriously this is my first born who use to aim his pee directly at me while I changed his little size 2 baby diaper and now at 11 years old is almost taller than me and how in the hell did this happen topics.

He's growing up. He's learning. He's social while at the same time very introspective. He's experimenting with what it means to have a "girlfriend" at this age. He's a good boy. I've raised him right. He opens and holds the door for women and children. He puts the toilet seat down. He's very sensitive and caring. To him, in his mind, "going out" means sitting next to your girlfriend at lunch if you have the same lunch period. Maybe carrying her books to and from class if it's not out of your way and won't cause you to be late for class. There is more weight among his peers in the words "going out" then actions. The relationship is very similar to the one he has with his best friends. Save for the developing breasts and vagina's.

In talking with my friend tonight, I realized that I'm okay with this. I'm okay with his current level of interaction with the opposite sex. I monitor his activities. I keep the lines of communication open. In the same respect I'm not an idiot and The Z-Man He knows this. He's fully aware that if his penis comes in contact with anyone or anything except his hand(s) before marriage, I'll cut that shit off!

ROAD TRIP - 12 days and Counting

I'm counting down the days until we buckle our seat belts, I pop a Clozenpam (when I'm not driving) we leave Maryland and head for that big ole state that is T-E-X-A-S! I'm still nervous about driving such a long distance. The furthest I have ever driven from home is to Florida. Last summer we went to Myrtle Beach with the kids and that's a 9 hour trip. 9 hours sounds easy peasy compared to 26 hours of actual driving time.

I've printed out my usual road trip games for the kids. Hangman, Bingo, the license plate game. This is where you come in. I need your help. My kids are 11 (the Z-Man) and 7 (The Princess). I'm not as worried about my son because as long as our rental car has outlets to charge his cell phone, PSP and iPod he'll be fine. It's the Princess who needs to be entertained.

I need ideas, suggestions, websites, printables, games, activities, anything. Even if it seems silly, please leave it in the comments sections.

I'm also looking for things to see when we stop. I've decided to make this an actual road trip, where you get out the car to look at things instead of just gunning it across the country. According to Google, we will pass through Knoxville, Birmingham, Hattiesburg and Gulport. I would love suggestions on things to see, places to stop for a sit down meal and places to avoid.

The success of this road trip depends on me. I am a control freak want everything to work out perfectly. I need to keep my anxiety at bay. I need to not cop an attitude when The Z-Man refuses to smile for the 105th picture. I need to not stress. I need to enjoy my girlfriend and my kids. I need to enjoy the journey. I want to create a joyful memory for my children.

Ok, while you're thinking of ideas for the kids, can you suggest some activities for ME?

Say what?

I've been signing into my Blog all week, creating a new post and then nothing. I see the white box just waiting for my words to fill it in. So much I want to say, so much has happened since I last posted. A part of me doesn't have the energy. I know I can't write brief quick entries. I like detail. I need detail. I have a lot I need to write. I'm holding it all inside. But it's going to be l-o-n-g. You've been warned. I hope you stick with me and stick around. One day I'll get this regular blog posting thing down.

Okay now that that's out of the way I have a problem. It's self imposed I will admit. But, still a problem. I'm a single mom of two children (in case you're just finding my blog) and I work full time. When I come home I make dinner, unload and reload the dishwasher, usually tackle some laundry and the list goes on. I always say my real job starts once I get home. My kids are old enough to help out around the house. I don't ask make them do very much. Their dad started giving them allowance twice a month. I in turn added some chores like cleaning their room, cleaning their bathroom and putting their dishes in the dishwasher.

The Z-Man gives me shit ALL THE TIME when I ask him to do anything. The Princess is still of the age where she loves to help. Once I get home I'm tired. I just want stuff done and quickly. I usually end up shooing them away and tackling everything on my own. Then I get a major attitude and crack open the wine bottle.

My love and I had a serious talk because she's of the opinion the kids should be doing a lot more around the house. I agreed but also pointed out that I suck at consistency. I told her I would pick one or two things that I can have them do every day and build a habit. For me and for the kids.

Fast forward to this past Monday. We came home and got settled. I asked the kids to unload the dishwasher while I started dinner. A lot of moaning and bitching ensued but they did it. Fast! Tuesday, same deal. A bit less bitching and add in some deep sighs.

Then tonight, I told them to wash their hands and unload the dishwasher. The Z-Man threw a fit. The Princess started the job singing Jingle Bells. I was in the kitchen with them starting dinner. My son is still alive after this conversation:

Z-Man - I don't want to do this again.

Me - Too bad, so sad buddy. I can't cook dinner in a dirty kitchen.

Z - But we already did this yesterday.

M - Yes you are correct. It has to be done every day.

Z - Well I don't want to do this every day!

M - Me neither. I work all day then come home and have to cook dinner, clean, do laundry, pack lunches etc... The least you can do is help out the family and unload the dishwasher. When you and your sister do it together as a team, it gets done in under 5 minutes.

Z - Why do I have to do this? It's your YOUR job.

M - I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST SAID THAT! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR DAMN MIND?!?!

Z - Well do I get paid for doing this?

M - Your dad gives you allowance whenever he sees you and you do nothing around the house to benefit our family. If you want the allowance, you do the chores. This is now one of them. EVERY DAY! (remember, I suck at the consistency thing so the chores I mentioned above don't always happen)

Z - Silence

Honestly, I wanted to smack him. I couldn't believe he made such a sexist remark. Am I raising a sexist pre-teen boy who thinks a woman should cook and clean for him. The answer seems to be yes! How do I change this? How do I make him grateful for what he has? How do I teach him to be humble, appreciative, helpful, learn empathy and sympathy? He is so into himself and in his head. Into his video games, and phone.

I'm failing him and while I'm angry he made that statement, I'm more angry at myself for letting it get this far. My eyes are open and my mind alert. How can I make this better?

Overwhelmed

I'm sitting here trying to avoid thinking about my To-Do List. This is the list of personal things that must get done for my kids and I. When I think about the list, I want to do this:

Here's the list. Maybe it will speak for itself.

• Pick up new bottles of Allergy Meds for son to take to Outdoor Education
• Search thru unclipped stacks of coupons for a coupon because those meds are expensive
• Drop off Medical form at son's Pediatrician so the nurse can give him the allergy meds while at Outdoor Education
• Pick up form from Pediatrician
• Drop off medications and forms at son's school
• Buy items on list that we don't own i.e a compass for Outdoor Education
• Pack for Outdoor Education
• Get son to school early on Monday
• Don't forget about the Princess. Picture day at school on Monday. Fill out order form, write check, wash her hair, dress her up blah blah blah
• Have kids make a birthday card for their father. His birthday is...wait for it...MONDAY!
• Have son decide if he is doing the Halloween thing this year or not. He is 11 and really tall and in Middle School
• If so, purchase costume for son and daughter.
• Prepare to be pissed because finding the wanted costume at this stage in the game is a joke.
• The Pumpkin Patch! Crap, I haven't taken the kids yet.
• Text hairdresser and beg for an appointment

Well, okay then. How does that look? I have a few days to tackle it all.

Now accepting applications for a personal assistant. I pay in Starbucks!

Wordy Wednesday: Homework's Bad

Today I'm borrowing the title Wordy Wednesday from my favorite Bored Mommy, Maria. Please stop by her blog and do some reading. She's smart, funny and her kids are gorgeous.

For this Wordy Wednesday I thought I'd share a poem written by my son. Enjoy.

Homework's Bad

Homework's really bad

When we do it, it makes us sad

Homework's killing trees

And it brings no glee

We learn at school, so why learn at home?

Instead of doing homework we could text on our phones

Instead of doing homework we could eat a tootsie roll

Instead of doing homework we could watch the Superbowl

Instead of doing homework we could watch TV

Except for the guys who cut down trees

So don't hand out homework

It's just a waste of time

And nobody's poem is better than mine.

-The Z-Man 10/13/09