Dear God,

Dear God,


Please protect me, my family and my friends. And the bad things out there are really scaring me out, so please make them not happen and make me forget about it. And when I do forget about it, make it not happen. I've been having some bad dreams so please make those bad dreams go away.


And mama's back hurts and I can't always breathe so please make that feel better.


We all trust and love you and believe in you.


In Jesus Name, Amen.


Love,
The Princess

The Laundry Lottery

I hate laundry. Who doesn't? All that sorting, measuring, washing, drying and folding. When my laundry room and the various laundry baskets are overflowing, I seriously consider moving to a nudist colony. Don't you?

One rule in my house is that I absolutely do not check and empty pockets of any kind. If I'm washing my 12 year old's underwear and the 7 year old's used to be white but now black socks, I'd like to limit contact with my delicate hands. The least they can do is make sure anything they hold dear is safe in their room.

Despite my constant reminders to check pockets before putting their clothes in the hamper, IT NEVER HAPPENS!

In tonight's edition of The Laundry Lottery, take a gander of what I've found. Can you guess who this week's culprit was?

Wordless Wednesday: Homecoming

 

Starting Early

I love love love to roast pumpkin seeds. When I walked into the grocery earlier this week and ran smack into a box of gorgeous orange pumpkins, I knew I had to buy one. I don't think I've ever roasted pumpkin seeds this early before. It wasn't even officially fall yet. $4 for fun quality time with the Princess. Totally worth it.

Happy First Day of School

Today I am the proud momma of a 7th Grader!

I can't believe my little peanut is now a 2nd Grader!

She's growing up way to fast.

Redefined

It's been 7 days since I've seen The Z-Man and The Princess. Their dad asked if he could "have" them last week. He has a new job and is trying to be around more often. He wants to help out and give me a break. I still didn't want to say yes because what would I do if I didn't have the kids to take care of?

Last summer they spent a week with their Grandma. I remember missing them like crazy. I worked late because I didn't want to go home to an empty house. When I did leave work, I drove around aimlessly until I realized I had to face reality. I was a free woman for a week with absolutely nothing to do with myself.

You see, I used to cherish the weekends when The Ex-Factor picked up the kids. I was exhausted from work and mommy duty. My Love and I would make plans to p-a-r-t-y. I couldn't wait to get a break. Then something changed inside of me. I would say in the last 4-6 months I found my groove. I thrived in the chaos of school drop offs, a full day of work, picking up the kids, dinner, laundry, family time. I would go for weeks then eventually crash and burn. Nevertheless it was my routine. I found comfort in the craziness.

As my kids grow older, their need for me changes. I've spent the last 7 days missing my kids. I've also spent the time reconnecting with friends, with my Love and most importantly with myself. I learned that while the kids may be away, I am not alone.

I'm looking forward to loving on my kids for the next day and half until they take off for their next summer adventure. I'll spend the next 8 days, just being Chantel. I'm learning that as much I like to be on the go, with the kids in tow...I really do need the break. And, I'm okay with that.

I love you more!

The Princess has been on this kick for the past few months. When I say I love you, she says she loves me more. I told her it was absolutely, unequivocally impossible for her to love me more than I love her. She didn't buy it. She listed off all the things she loves about me and I did the same.

For one week I told her she could love me more but after that it has to go back to normal. Once that week passed she refused to give in. She insists that she loves me more than I love her. I look into her big brown eyes that light up when she sees me. I can't help but smile back. She is so uniquely her own little person. At the same time she is so much like me. When she has her hair a certain way, she reminds me of myself at 7 years old. I want to memorize everything about her at this age. Her hands that are a mini replica of mine, her long limbs that she'll grow into one day. I want this image of her to be forever ingrained in my mind.

She tells me when she's older she'll still feel the same way about me. She will still love me more than I love her. That she will always want to be around me. Sitting on the sofa under her yellow blanket while she reads me a book. Snuggling together while we watch iCarly.

I wish she could stay my little peanut forever. I wish I could see myself in her eyes, from her point of view. I wish I loved myself as much as she loves me.

Wordless Wednesday - Missing

Tooth #5 pulled out by yours truly on Sunday night.

Shamrocks

Yesterday the Princess excitedly told me that her 1st grade class was going on a Field Trip. She has been patiently waiting for this day. My company encouarges us to volunteer and will provide two paid days a year to do so. The Princess knows that means "Mommy can come with me!!"

As the Princess was reading me the who, what, when and where's I was trying to think if I'd be able to take off work that day. She said that her teacher was only going to ask two parents to volunteer.

I asked the Princess how her teacher would decide. She told me she didn't know but hoped I would be picked to be a Shamrock.

I stopped and looked at her with a puzzled look on my face. St. Patrick's day has passed, her school has a Shamrock bus but that didn't make any sense.

The Z-Man and I asked her what she meant. She said, "You know a Shamrock, a parent who comes on the field trip with the kids."

The Z-Man and I looked at each other and immediately said, "Oh you mean a Chaperone?" All three of us burst into laughter. I gave Natalie a hug and told her I hoped her teacher picked me to be a Shamrock too!

ROAD TRIP - 12 days and Counting

I'm counting down the days until we buckle our seat belts, I pop a Clozenpam (when I'm not driving) we leave Maryland and head for that big ole state that is T-E-X-A-S! I'm still nervous about driving such a long distance. The furthest I have ever driven from home is to Florida. Last summer we went to Myrtle Beach with the kids and that's a 9 hour trip. 9 hours sounds easy peasy compared to 26 hours of actual driving time.

I've printed out my usual road trip games for the kids. Hangman, Bingo, the license plate game. This is where you come in. I need your help. My kids are 11 (the Z-Man) and 7 (The Princess). I'm not as worried about my son because as long as our rental car has outlets to charge his cell phone, PSP and iPod he'll be fine. It's the Princess who needs to be entertained.

I need ideas, suggestions, websites, printables, games, activities, anything. Even if it seems silly, please leave it in the comments sections.

I'm also looking for things to see when we stop. I've decided to make this an actual road trip, where you get out the car to look at things instead of just gunning it across the country. According to Google, we will pass through Knoxville, Birmingham, Hattiesburg and Gulport. I would love suggestions on things to see, places to stop for a sit down meal and places to avoid.

The success of this road trip depends on me. I am a control freak want everything to work out perfectly. I need to keep my anxiety at bay. I need to not cop an attitude when The Z-Man refuses to smile for the 105th picture. I need to not stress. I need to enjoy my girlfriend and my kids. I need to enjoy the journey. I want to create a joyful memory for my children.

Ok, while you're thinking of ideas for the kids, can you suggest some activities for ME?

Random Tuesday Thoughts: I got some

1) I'm ready for a blog makeover. This was cute last year and it was better than what I had before but I'm over it. I need a fancy schmancy header, a tagline, a cartoon like picture of moi but much skinner. Any takers?

2) My daughter turns 7 tomorrow. S-E-V-E-N! I really can't even deal with the thought of this. We sat down together last night and looked at her baby pictures. She looks completely different now. I remember being pregnant with her. I remember her kicking the crap out of me with her knees. Funny how she still does that when we nap together. She's growing up and while I'm totally opposed to this, I can't seem to stop her.

3) I quit drinking. Friday January 22 was it. I had a bit too much fun involving Grey Goose, Cranberry and pictures on my Blackberry that are blackmail worthy. The liquor isn't my problem. It's the wine. Oh, my wine. My daily glass or two that over time has become three or four. I'd stop when I became either intoxicated or too sleepy to refill my glass. A few weeks ago I fell asleep on the sofa, watching 24 with a glass of wine in my hand. I didn't spill a drop because I'm talented like that. The next week came and I didn't have a bottle at the house. I began to lose my mind, because I didn't know how I would function without it. After I work all day, then pick up the kids and begin my real job...I'm fucking exhausted. Wine gets me through until bedtime. Wine chills me out. Wine makes me forget. Wine makes me happy. Or it did. Because I quit. I sure as hell didn't want to. Wine is was one of my best friends. When asked if I could just have one glass a night, I said no. I can't stop at one glass or two. I don't want to need it. So I'm done. Off the Pinot Grigio and Riesling. Now I'm detoxing which is literally and physically making me sick. I honestly didn't realize it was this bad.

4) I'm so unbelievably happy for Heather and Mike. The birth of Miss Annabel aka Annie is a wonderful start to 2010. She is absolutely gorgeous! I don't think I have seen such genuine smiles on their faces in a very long time. It is well deserved. Congratulations to the Spohr family. I wish I lived closer so I could hold that sweet baby girl.

5) Speaking of babies....my uterus has called and left an urgent voicemail. It's been inactive and wants back in the game. I've been jonesing (i have never ever ever used that word before but it's the only one that works) for a baby. Everyone around me is having babies. My Facebook and Twitter feed is full of little hands and feet. I see pregnant bellies and babies everywhere. They are calling to me. I want! Much harder for us lesbians to get knocked up. Plus my kids are 11 and almost 7. Do I really want to start over? Answer: Yeah, I kinda sorta do. Maybe.

Check out Keely and see what's Random in her world.

Overwhelmed

I'm sitting here trying to avoid thinking about my To-Do List. This is the list of personal things that must get done for my kids and I. When I think about the list, I want to do this:

Here's the list. Maybe it will speak for itself.

• Pick up new bottles of Allergy Meds for son to take to Outdoor Education
• Search thru unclipped stacks of coupons for a coupon because those meds are expensive
• Drop off Medical form at son's Pediatrician so the nurse can give him the allergy meds while at Outdoor Education
• Pick up form from Pediatrician
• Drop off medications and forms at son's school
• Buy items on list that we don't own i.e a compass for Outdoor Education
• Pack for Outdoor Education
• Get son to school early on Monday
• Don't forget about the Princess. Picture day at school on Monday. Fill out order form, write check, wash her hair, dress her up blah blah blah
• Have kids make a birthday card for their father. His birthday is...wait for it...MONDAY!
• Have son decide if he is doing the Halloween thing this year or not. He is 11 and really tall and in Middle School
• If so, purchase costume for son and daughter.
• Prepare to be pissed because finding the wanted costume at this stage in the game is a joke.
• The Pumpkin Patch! Crap, I haven't taken the kids yet.
• Text hairdresser and beg for an appointment

Well, okay then. How does that look? I have a few days to tackle it all.

Now accepting applications for a personal assistant. I pay in Starbucks!