RTT: Sentences Are Over Rated

It's Tuesday which is synonymous for Random Tuesday Thoughts. Keely says this nonsense passes for a blog post but only on Tuesday's. I love her! Link up and join us.

Here's what I'm thinking about right now:

Random Tuesday Thoughts: Whirlwind

It's Tuesday, and thanks to Keely, that gives me permission to spew random thoughts and call it a Blog Post.

~ I had to purchase a 26 inch duffel bag in New York City to bring home all the swag I received at BlogHer. My love and I shared one suitcase for our clothes. That was a borrowed suitcase so we needed the duffel bag anyway. We could have shipped it home but I wouldn't have had control over that. I haven't even gone through the swag. The duffel bag has moved from one corner to another. Mr. Potato Head only made his entrance into our lives because Princess Patalie can't stay away from the bag. It's like Christmas for a kid!

~ I'm knee deep in Football and Cheerleading. In fact, it's taken over my life. In a good way. I think. Thankfully the kids are in the same organization, so it's one field and the same day/time. I love to see The Z-Man tackle another kid or sack the Quarterback. Princess Patalie is a typical cheerleader. Bubbly, cheerful and coordinated. Unlike her mom. Did I mention that I'm the Team Mom? Oh yes, I am. I'm in control of the emails, the flyers, the snack schedule, planning Homecoming and the Banquet. Most importantly, I get to wear the Team Mom shirt. The idea that this makes me happy, most certaintly leads to a deeper issue, one that I'm not ready to deal with. Moving on...

~ I'm playing the Mega Millions tonight. I would like to play every week but I usually forget. Then the bills pile up, my money tree is nowhere to be found and I start to panic. What better way to quell my financial worries then spend $1 in hopes of winning Millions. Never mind the odds.

~ I'm still in awe that my son is taller than me. I keep staring at him and picturing him in Diapers. When I tell him this, he looks at me with his big eyes and backs away slowly. He probably still has nightmares of that time when he was 10 and I attempted to pick him up and hold him in my lap.

I never know how to end these things. Just go check out Keely. It'll make you feel better

RTT: It's like Twitter, for Blogs

I haven't particpated in Random Tuesday Thoughts in awhile. I thought I'd give it a whirl.

* Last night I dreamt about a gigantic spider dangling in front of my face. It was brown and white. I reached out to swat it out away in my dream. In reality I cut my face twice with my fingernails. This makes 4 cuts I have on my face from my nails. I don't have long dragon lady nails either. They are short and sweet. And apparently sharp as hell.

* I looked up the meaning of dreaming about a Spider on Dream Moods. There were quite a few definitions of what my dream meant. I think this one sums it up: "A spider refers to a powerful force protecting you against your self-destructive behavior." I sat in my bed at 10pm last night eating a bowl of Ravioli watching The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Self-destruction indeed!

* The Princess and The Z-Man have officially returned after a week at their Grandma's house and two fun filled days at Busch Garden. I now have the honor of retraining them. When they are with their Dad they treat him like garbage. It's not how I raised them. They know better. The Ex-Factor lets the kids walk all over him. The easily forget their manner and to answer with "yes" instead of "yeah" when I call them.

* I have my first official troll on this here little Blog. On Thursday, a lovely little hooker named CJ called me out as a bitch and a nasty whore. All because I showed my Bewbs to the world for a good cause. I haven't checked my Analytics to narrow down where CJ came from. It was disconcerting reading the comments. Now I don't care. Everyone knows you're not really a blogger until you get your first troll.

* Speaking of blogs, in just a few weeks I'll be in New York City with a million other women, men and children for BlogHer. I can't wait.

Now you must go visit Keely for the best in Random Tuesday Thoughts. It's the rules!

Random Tuesday Thoughts: Breaking the Rules

Today I'm playing along with Keely the Un Mom for Random Tuesday Thoughts. It's so nice to be able to put all these thoughts in my head into a post. Tie it with a bow and d.o.n.e.



Let's get started:

I came home on Sunday evening to find a note on my door. It was from Richard, a friendly Census Taker. He left me his phone number. He wants me to call him. Apparently not filling out your Census form and returning it is against the law or something. The thing is, I mailed that bitch back! I didn't return it by the 1st deadline, but I got it in before the 2nd one. I knew I should have made a copy of it. I haven't called him back. I don't plan too. I did my part. Now I need the goverment to leave me alone.

I have lost 3 whole pounds since May 3rd. I consider that a miracle because I haven't really done anything to facilitate this loss. If I can lose 2 lbs a week, that'll be 20 pounds down before Blog Her. I think 20. I hate math. Which is a shame because I work in Finance.

I've been wanting to move to a townhouse for what feels like eons. It more like 8 months but same difference if you ask me. The house next door to my old house is for rent. The new owners want $1,700. A month! Plus we would have to pay electric, gas, water, tv/internet. That would bring the monthly total to $2,000. That is what I call a mortgage payment. I was bummed because I want to move back into my old neighborhood. Doesn't look like that will happen. Unless I can find a sugar daddy or sugar mommy willing to support us. Or I win the lottery. In which case I'm buying a house. And most likely moving the hell outta here.

This morning Princess Patalie wanted to wear these cute sandals I bought her last Friday. The rule is no open-toed shoes at school. On a side note, I can not wait until June 16th. I'm over this school year. I told her to wear the sandals. Actually they are more like flip flops because they don't have a back. She looked up at me, eyes wide and said, "We're not allowed to wear these kind of shoes to school." I said, "I know, but the school year is almost over and they look SO cute with your outfit!!" She started to slip her feet into them and said, "Well my friend S wears shoes like this all the time." I said, "Lots of kids do. I think it will be okay for today." She put the shoes on and I left the room to finish getting ready for work. When I returned to do her hair she had on tennis shoes. I asked her why she changed and she said, "Because I don't want to get in trouble."

It's amazing how a corrupt rule breaker is raising such a good girl. Nature vs. Nurture - 2 pts.

RTT: Deviled Eggs, Scales and Caterpillars

Welcome to my Random Tuesday Thoughts. Link up with Keely and play along.



Alright let's go...

I'm developing quite the farmer's tan due to Saturday soccer games and Sunday flag football games. I'm very light skinned and I like to get a little color. The color prevents people from thinking I have jaundice.

The only other body part that's getting tanned is my feet. Flip flops equal love. Toes should really be free from the dark, warm confines of a closed toe shoe. Please to get a pedicure BEFORE you bare all.

I'd love to brown the other parts of my body but that is not happening anytime soon. I love you all too much to expose my faux 7-month pregnancy tummy and/or thunder thighs!

But never fear, I purchased a scale yesterday. It proceeded to tell me I weighed 145 lbs. I fainted and then moved the scale to the bathroom floor where it produced an accurate, alebit extremely high number.

I'm walking daily, eating better, drinking my water and cutting back on all the other good stuff shit. I haven't owned a scale in years but figured I need to face the music. Have a starting point and measure my progress and all.

Speaking of things being brown... This morning I was getting dressed for work. I have two pair of pants that I rotate because 1) I'm fat 2) Nothing fits 3) I refuse to buy pants in size 123456789 and as I was buttoning said pair of brown pants I noticed something on my leg. It was a caterpillar! I don't know how it got there. I don't where it came from. Are there more of them? Is my closet suddenly going to become a cocoon? Needless to say I freaked the eff out and put on Capri's. Casual capri's that I normally wouldn't wear for work but I can't go near those caterpillar pants again!

I'm throwing my best friend a birthday party on Friday. My house is a wreck, I haven't gone grocery shopping, I don't exactly have a plan for the party. The only thing I do know is I'm required to make my delish deviled eggs. The Princess loves to help me make them, so I'll put her to work. I work best under pressure so I have no doubt it'll be a good time. In the event it's a disaster, my plan is to keep their wine glasses full and no one will be the wiser.

Random Tuesday Thoughts - Animals

-My co-worker and good friend for the past 3 and a half years had to put her dog down this afternoon. Shelby Lynne was a 14 year old chocolate lab. She came into work today really upset and after talking with her hubs and family they decided it was the right decision. When you have a pet in your family, they become an integral part of what makes your family whole. I've lost dogs, cats and my hamster when I was in 6th grade. It's so hard on the whole family. You know it's the best decision for your pet and at the same time you feel like you've let them down. If you pray, please keep her family in your prayers. If you can send good thoughts their way I would really appreciate it.

-Speaking of animals, I'm 98.5% sure there is "something" living in the wall in my bedroom. I finally started to doze off around 1am this morning when I heard this g-d awful sound like someone or something trying to get into my bedroom. Of course I woke my girlfriend up because isn't that what you do when you hear a bump in the night? She heard the noise too. It was as if the animal(s) was climbing up, around and through something else to get to its home, INSIDE THE WALL!!! It was loud enough and heavy enough that I refuse to believe it was one single animal. I'm going to stop by the rental office tonight and let them know. I don't know what they can or will do short of cutting open the wall. Which is behind my bed which means where the hell am I going to sleep? We'll see what happens.

-There is another kind of animal invading my life recently. The Princess is playing soccer. She's on a team of 6 and 7 year olds with minimal experience. These animals stand on the sidelines and scream instructions at their daughters. "Create space" or "Get the ball" or "Run, run" or "What are you doing?!?!" Dude, your kid can't hear you. SHUT UP! If they can hear you then they become confused as to whether they should listen to their parent or the coach. The coach get pissed. It's embarrassing. I feel awful for one girl in particular because her dad is behaving like an ass on the sideline barking orders at her. Doesn't take a genius to imagine what's he's like at home.

Link up with Keely, the queen of Random and play along.

RTT: Update on the Crazy Eye and the Skinny Jeans...now with Pictures

Tuesday already?



~My MRI is normal. No signs of bleeding, swelling, tumors or MS in my brain or eyes. I am so thankful for this. So what caused my eye to go wonky?

Possibly a virus or it could have been a migraine in my eye. I haven't had a migraine in 6 years. I'd rather not start getting them again now. I'm praying this incident was a one off as they say in England.

~I took The Z-Man to Kohl's last week and bought him a pair of Skinny jeans. Part of me was sick of hearing him talk about it. The other part of me was hoping he would try them on and hate them. $36 later, I was once again the most important woman in his life.

~In other news I signed Princess Patalie up for soccer. I gave myself a big pat on the back for remembering to sign her up and not waiting until the last minute. 2 points for mom. She's excited. When I was registering her online I sat on the volunteer page for 20 minutes. I kept checking and unchecking the team manager box. In the end, I said yes. I am a kick ass team mom when The Z-Man's plays football. I figure The Princess deserves a taste of that magic.

~My mom's significant other is having a stent placed in his heart tomorrow. He has severe arterial blockage. If you pray, please pray. If you can think good thoughts, do so. My mom and I thank you!

That's all I've got for now. Go link up and get Random!

Random Tuesday Thoughts: My Crazy Eye, an MRI & a Road Trip

If you follow me on Twitter you may have seen my tweets about my right eye acting like a fool. I woke up last Thursday and my eye was tender, felt swollen and extremely uncomfortable. I went to work and ignored it. I figured it must be sinuses or allergies. I woke up Friday and it still hurt. It looked like it was bulging out of my head. And again I went to work and tried to ignore it. Later in the afternoon, it started to feel like there was something in my eye. The something felt like it was behind my eyeball. I had a horrible headache and cloudy vision. I freaked out.

I called my doctor and they took me in right away. My primary care doctor seemed very alarmed. She called an Ophthalmologist in the same building and he agreed to see me. Dr. G throughly examined my eyes including dilating them. I almost lost my mind when I couldn't see anything on my Blackberry. After 4 hours, my right eye had Dr. G stumped. He called a Neuro-Ophthalmologist for his opinion. Dr. K agreed to see me yesterday afternoon. Thankfully I passed all my tests. It doesn't appear that I have Optic Neuritis. What I do have is still a mystery.

I went for an MRI this evening. One hour of sitting completely still and trying not to move my eyes was exhausting. I made the decision to keep my eyes closed the entire time. Once all the scans without contrast were completed and I was waiting for the tech I opened my eyes. BIG MISTAKE! I was this close to a panic attack. Have you ever had your brain and orbits MRI'd? (yes, it's a word) So now I wait for results. I still have the eye pain but not as severe. My visual acuity is not 100%. I still have the headache. It stills feels like there is something in my eye. My crazy right eye.

In other news (this is where the random comes in)

* My 11 year old son wants skinny jeans. He is in fact obsessed with them. He knows what stores carry them for boys/men, the price and colors. I guess I need to take him to buy a pair or skinny jeans. I'm not sure how I feel about this.

* We're going to San Antonio at the end of the month. Kids spring break and a much needed vacay. I've got a rental car lined up and we are driving. Across the country. To Texas. From Maryland. According to Google Maps, the trip will take 1 day and 1 hour. Or as I like to tell people 1,615 miles. Why drive? It wasn't my first choice, but airfare ranged from $1,200-1,400. I get sick just thinking about spending that much money. So ROAD TRIP!!!!!!!!

Come play with Keely and get Random.

Random Tuesday Thoughts: I got some

1) I'm ready for a blog makeover. This was cute last year and it was better than what I had before but I'm over it. I need a fancy schmancy header, a tagline, a cartoon like picture of moi but much skinner. Any takers?

2) My daughter turns 7 tomorrow. S-E-V-E-N! I really can't even deal with the thought of this. We sat down together last night and looked at her baby pictures. She looks completely different now. I remember being pregnant with her. I remember her kicking the crap out of me with her knees. Funny how she still does that when we nap together. She's growing up and while I'm totally opposed to this, I can't seem to stop her.

3) I quit drinking. Friday January 22 was it. I had a bit too much fun involving Grey Goose, Cranberry and pictures on my Blackberry that are blackmail worthy. The liquor isn't my problem. It's the wine. Oh, my wine. My daily glass or two that over time has become three or four. I'd stop when I became either intoxicated or too sleepy to refill my glass. A few weeks ago I fell asleep on the sofa, watching 24 with a glass of wine in my hand. I didn't spill a drop because I'm talented like that. The next week came and I didn't have a bottle at the house. I began to lose my mind, because I didn't know how I would function without it. After I work all day, then pick up the kids and begin my real job...I'm fucking exhausted. Wine gets me through until bedtime. Wine chills me out. Wine makes me forget. Wine makes me happy. Or it did. Because I quit. I sure as hell didn't want to. Wine is was one of my best friends. When asked if I could just have one glass a night, I said no. I can't stop at one glass or two. I don't want to need it. So I'm done. Off the Pinot Grigio and Riesling. Now I'm detoxing which is literally and physically making me sick. I honestly didn't realize it was this bad.

4) I'm so unbelievably happy for Heather and Mike. The birth of Miss Annabel aka Annie is a wonderful start to 2010. She is absolutely gorgeous! I don't think I have seen such genuine smiles on their faces in a very long time. It is well deserved. Congratulations to the Spohr family. I wish I lived closer so I could hold that sweet baby girl.

5) Speaking of babies....my uterus has called and left an urgent voicemail. It's been inactive and wants back in the game. I've been jonesing (i have never ever ever used that word before but it's the only one that works) for a baby. Everyone around me is having babies. My Facebook and Twitter feed is full of little hands and feet. I see pregnant bellies and babies everywhere. They are calling to me. I want! Much harder for us lesbians to get knocked up. Plus my kids are 11 and almost 7. Do I really want to start over? Answer: Yeah, I kinda sorta do. Maybe.

Check out Keely and see what's Random in her world.

RTT: Because it's Tuesday...duh

1) When I went to Vegas back in May I bought back some souvenirs junk for my kids. My son constantly asks to borrow my nail clippers because he constantly has hang nail issues. Don't ask. So when I saw a pair with the Las Vegas sign on it, I bought them. Fast forward to a few days ago and I'm driving him to school. I see something shiny and familiar in the street. I peer closer and its the damn clippers! It has been raining so they were rusted and ruined. I can't remember exactly what I said to said to him. It probably went something like &*#$%^! I threw them in the trash. I won't let him borrow mine. He'll have to chew his hang nails off like the rest of the kids.

2) Rain rain go away. No really! Please leave. I don't want to hear about how we need the rain blah blah blah. I'm a girl with a Vitamin D deficiency. How in the hell am I supposed to get my daily dose of Vitamin D from the sun if its raining or cloudy every.single.day. Don't even get me started on my Seasonal Affective Disorder. If anyone wants to send me one of those light lamps, my mental health would be very thankful.

3) I had grand plans to walk on the treadmill for 30 minutes last night. It was going to feel great. I was proud of myself for making the decision (in my head) to exercise. Instead I drank 3 beers and made chocolate fudge brownies. I somehow made a wrong turn on the road to fitness. I want to be angry at myself. Beat myself up. Instead I'm starting over today. New day and another chance to make the right decisions. That my friends is progress.

Visit Keely the Master of Random and see what's on her mind.

RTT: Huh?

That is what I feel like. Huh? What? This ride is spinning too fast and I want to get off. I can't seem to gather my thoughts and make sense of anything. This is why I love Keely and



Let's get started:

>The Z-Man made the Honor Roll. All A's and 1 B. So proud of him. Ceremony is this Friday at 2pm. Please don't let me forget. He's also one of the Stars of the Month. I missed the celebration last Friday at 2pm because I suck. And the Fall Choral and Band concert is this Thursday night. The Z-Man is busy for an 11 year old.

>The Princess did very well on her report card. There is a new grading and reporting system which I don't understand AT ALL. Our school is involved in various Pilot Programs which means we (the parents) are Guinea Pigs. It's not all bad. I know from her data notebook that she is almost reading on a 2nd grade level, in the first grade. She also kicks butt and takes names in Math. I will be pushing for her to move up to the advanced class.

>I'm still feeling a bit blah from last week. My womanly errr...functions are a bitch. I am unable to take the Pill or anything with Estrogen. I was hospitalized with Pulmonary Embolism in 2005. Or was it 2004? I try not to remember the exact date that the doctors told me I almost died. After millions of tests it was determined the cause was THE PILL. I don't really need to be on birth control seeing how I am lesbian and all. But seriously, this past year if feels like I only have one week out of the month where I feel normal. And it's getting worse and worse. Ask my family, they'll tell you. I can deal with the physical symptoms. It's the raging lunatic inside me that needs help. If you know of any homeopathic remedies please let me know.

>I'm so ready for Thanksgiving. My kids will be their dad. I'm still going to cook and hopefully my family (yes mom, I'm talking to YOU) will trek the 45 minutes north for dinner. My menu so far consists of Turkey (going to use a Rosemary & Garlic rub), macaroni and cheese (homemade), deviled eggs (my speciality), mashed potatoes, rolls and some special surprises for dessert. Oh lawd, I'm hungry just thinking about it. What are your plans for Turkey Day?

>Speaking of turkey's I was reading The Pioneer Woman's receipes and she brines her turkey. I've heard of this before and then I googled it and so many people do this. I never have. I don't think my parents ever did either. I'm starting to think black people don't brine turkeys. And you know what, it's okay. As long as you don't overcook the bird. There is nothing worse than shriveled up dry meat!

Now head on over to Keely's blog to see what the Queen of Random has going on today. Do you Random?

Random Tuesday Thoughts - The Sucky Edition

1) I'm on Day 4 of Operation Quit Smoking. I'm on edge. I want to scream. My temper is short. I feel so angry about everything. My body is craving the nicotine. I know it. I rationally know how it all works. This is a battle of wills and willpower. I have to win! Besides I'm the idiot that started smoking again socially after quitting over 11 years ago. I don't want my kids to smoke. I have no choice but to quit.

2) Two people that almost everyone in my department at work have spoken to on the phone have passed away. The woman had a heart attack. The other, a man was murdered. He and his wife were murdered by her supposed lover. He killed them, then shot himself. They had 2 kids. One in college. The other, a son. Only 16 yrs old. He was able to escape. Its tragic and sad. We are pretty speechless at work.

3) I broke a major rule when you have a yard sale. Whatever doesn't sell is supposed to go straight in the trash or preferably Goodwill or The Salvation Army. I did get rid of a few things with Freecycle but the rest is sitting by my front door. I need to throw it all away. Except for the clothes. I'm giving them to the Interfaith Clothing Donation place. But the rest of our "junk" yea, I'm going to throw it away.

4) I picked up my kids yesterday and they came back from their dad's house with two more bags than they left with. Apparently they took a trip to their dad's storage unit where a lot of there stuff is. I'm sure it was like a visit to a toy store. All their old toys were new again. The problem is we live in a 2 bedroom apartment. The kids share a bedroom. THERE IS NO ROOM FOR ANYTHING ELSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5) My love and I drove to Greenwood, South Carolina on Friday for a wedding. It was an 8 and a half hour drive one way. I drove the whole way on Friday. Once we checked into our hotel room. I was ready to party. And we did. WAY. TO. HARD. I was sick. Thought I was going to die. I promised the Big Guy above that I would never drink again if he would just make the headache go away. Thankfully the wedding was at 6pm. I had plenty of time to rest. Unfortunately, I still haven't recovered.

Go check out Keely's blog for more randomness. She's a great hostess!

Random Tuesday Thoughts - because I'm too lazy to think of my own title

I've never participated in this before but it sounds about right for how I'm feeling so off we go...

- I attempted to learn the code to make bullet points for this post but gave up.

- I have gray hairs...that I have not plucked. I always snatch those suckers out. Does this mean I'm accepting my age or just lazy?

- I want to call out every nasty woman at my job that doesn't wash their hands after they use the bathroom. I know who YOU are and I want to put you on blast. And by the way, just rinsing your hands with water after you pee, is NOT okay.

- I want another tattoo but apparently not bad enough to actually get it done. I want this on my wrist. (Page 2, top left corner, 1st one that says Love with two flowers.) I haven't done it yet because I'm very busy with my kids, work and stuff scared shitless it's gonna hurt!

- I have a wedding to attend on September 26th. I've had months to start exercising, eating better, shedding some major poundage. I haven't done a damn thing. I'm going to do my best to avoid pictures being taken of me and my fat ass. Did I mention that I have nothing to wear? I don't do dresses...gah!

- Kanye West makes good music. When he opens his mouth to speak, things go downhill, rapidly. I bet his mama wishes she could smack him upside the head.

- I can't believe we're in the 3rd week of school already. I'm exhausted.

- I hate bills. I hate paying bills. I hate that I never have enough money to pay my bills.

- Winning the Mega Millions would certainly help with above mentioned problem.

- As usual, I'm wishing it was Friday like now.

- Special shout out to my mommy who reads my blog every now and again. That's nice but also freaks me out. So far, I haven't spilled any of her dark and dirty secrets.

Ok, that's all I got for now. Make sure to check out Keely for all things wonderful and random. She's an expert at this stuff.