Joints

Scene: Home from football practice and a quick dinner with friends. We walk in the house and the kids and I are in a great mood. It's a combination of the warm weather and a busy but exciting weekend ahead of us. I'm getting The Princess ready for a bath. The Z-Man comes into the bathroom and says:

The Z-Man: Mom, I was talking to my friend yesterday and he was telling me about this guy that had two joints.

Me: *ears perk up* Joints? Huh? What? Who?

The Z-Man: Yeah this guy has two joints. My friend saw it on TV.

Me: I'm sorry, I don't get it. Joints as in Marijuana? *heart racing*

The Z-Man: No, mom. *laughing* His arms. He could bend them like this. *attempts to contort his arms*

Me: Oh, you mean double jointed. Double. Jointed. Yeah, that's pretty crazy isn't it. I wouldn't want my arms to bend that way. It's creepy.

The Z-Man: Yeah, it looks like it hurts. *walks away*

Me: *faints*

"Going Out"

Have I told ya'll that The Z-Man has a girlfriend? Well, had. It was his 3rd 4th "girlfriend" of the school year. Yes, we're talking the Sixth Grade.

At the beginning of the school year he couldn't care less about girls. His best friend however is girl crazy and has been for awhile. He snatched up his first girlfriend fairly quickly. The Z-Man was neither here nor there. It was a non-issue.

Fast forward to this past Christmas. He wanted to buy his then girlfriend a small gift. I gave him a $10 limit and set him loose in Wal-mart since we were already there. He told me about the girlfriend and his desire to get her a gift before winter break, the day BEFORE winter break. I have no idea where he learned this degree of procrastination. Not. A. Clue.

When he gave me grief over his $10 gift limit, I didn't have the heart to tell him it wouldn't last. It's the 6th grade for Christ's sake! I predicted the end of the relationship well before he did. As him mom, I try not to play the role of dream crusher. At least not around the Holidays. A few months pass by and this girlfriend decided she would rather be friends. I hope it wasn't the cheap jewelry.

His most recent "relationship" didn't last very long. The Z-Man found himself smack dab in the middle of D-R-A-M-A! He said, she said, hearsay and hurt feelings. This girlfriend was told that The Z-Man only went out with her because he felt sorry for her. I knew this wasn't true and The Z-Man tried to tell her the truth but the girl ended it. She'd rather be single then have a pity boyfriend. I have to admire her level of self esteem and courage at this age.

I was talking to a friend today who was genuinely upset with me that I "let" The Z-Man talk to girls on the phone, receive and send text messages and have a "girlfriend". I never thought I would feel this way but now that I'm in the midst of all, it's okay with me. To a degree.

I remember 6th grade. It was the year I wore blue eyeshadow and went through half a day of school with a pink sponge roller still fastened to my bangs. It was a year of crushes, prank phones calls, changing in front of other girls while on the rag and other assorted nightmares.

But this isn't 1990. I'm not stupid. I talk to The Z-Man often about girls, what he thinks about them, what "going out" or "dating" means to him, sex and other uncomfortable because seriously this is my first born who use to aim his pee directly at me while I changed his little size 2 baby diaper and now at 11 years old is almost taller than me and how in the hell did this happen topics.

He's growing up. He's learning. He's social while at the same time very introspective. He's experimenting with what it means to have a "girlfriend" at this age. He's a good boy. I've raised him right. He opens and holds the door for women and children. He puts the toilet seat down. He's very sensitive and caring. To him, in his mind, "going out" means sitting next to your girlfriend at lunch if you have the same lunch period. Maybe carrying her books to and from class if it's not out of your way and won't cause you to be late for class. There is more weight among his peers in the words "going out" then actions. The relationship is very similar to the one he has with his best friends. Save for the developing breasts and vagina's.

In talking with my friend tonight, I realized that I'm okay with this. I'm okay with his current level of interaction with the opposite sex. I monitor his activities. I keep the lines of communication open. In the same respect I'm not an idiot and The Z-Man He knows this. He's fully aware that if his penis comes in contact with anyone or anything except his hand(s) before marriage, I'll cut that shit off!

Say what?

I've been signing into my Blog all week, creating a new post and then nothing. I see the white box just waiting for my words to fill it in. So much I want to say, so much has happened since I last posted. A part of me doesn't have the energy. I know I can't write brief quick entries. I like detail. I need detail. I have a lot I need to write. I'm holding it all inside. But it's going to be l-o-n-g. You've been warned. I hope you stick with me and stick around. One day I'll get this regular blog posting thing down.

Okay now that that's out of the way I have a problem. It's self imposed I will admit. But, still a problem. I'm a single mom of two children (in case you're just finding my blog) and I work full time. When I come home I make dinner, unload and reload the dishwasher, usually tackle some laundry and the list goes on. I always say my real job starts once I get home. My kids are old enough to help out around the house. I don't ask make them do very much. Their dad started giving them allowance twice a month. I in turn added some chores like cleaning their room, cleaning their bathroom and putting their dishes in the dishwasher.

The Z-Man gives me shit ALL THE TIME when I ask him to do anything. The Princess is still of the age where she loves to help. Once I get home I'm tired. I just want stuff done and quickly. I usually end up shooing them away and tackling everything on my own. Then I get a major attitude and crack open the wine bottle.

My love and I had a serious talk because she's of the opinion the kids should be doing a lot more around the house. I agreed but also pointed out that I suck at consistency. I told her I would pick one or two things that I can have them do every day and build a habit. For me and for the kids.

Fast forward to this past Monday. We came home and got settled. I asked the kids to unload the dishwasher while I started dinner. A lot of moaning and bitching ensued but they did it. Fast! Tuesday, same deal. A bit less bitching and add in some deep sighs.

Then tonight, I told them to wash their hands and unload the dishwasher. The Z-Man threw a fit. The Princess started the job singing Jingle Bells. I was in the kitchen with them starting dinner. My son is still alive after this conversation:

Z-Man - I don't want to do this again.

Me - Too bad, so sad buddy. I can't cook dinner in a dirty kitchen.

Z - But we already did this yesterday.

M - Yes you are correct. It has to be done every day.

Z - Well I don't want to do this every day!

M - Me neither. I work all day then come home and have to cook dinner, clean, do laundry, pack lunches etc... The least you can do is help out the family and unload the dishwasher. When you and your sister do it together as a team, it gets done in under 5 minutes.

Z - Why do I have to do this? It's your YOUR job.

M - I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST SAID THAT! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR DAMN MIND?!?!

Z - Well do I get paid for doing this?

M - Your dad gives you allowance whenever he sees you and you do nothing around the house to benefit our family. If you want the allowance, you do the chores. This is now one of them. EVERY DAY! (remember, I suck at the consistency thing so the chores I mentioned above don't always happen)

Z - Silence

Honestly, I wanted to smack him. I couldn't believe he made such a sexist remark. Am I raising a sexist pre-teen boy who thinks a woman should cook and clean for him. The answer seems to be yes! How do I change this? How do I make him grateful for what he has? How do I teach him to be humble, appreciative, helpful, learn empathy and sympathy? He is so into himself and in his head. Into his video games, and phone.

I'm failing him and while I'm angry he made that statement, I'm more angry at myself for letting it get this far. My eyes are open and my mind alert. How can I make this better?

Back to School Night: The 6th Grade Edition

Tuesday was Back to School Night for Middle School. The Z-Man is in 6th grade. I arrived early to sell Spirit Wear for the PTSA. Yes, I am that mom. The bell rang and we were off to 1st period.

- The Z-Man has 2 male teachers and 5 female teachers. This is his first time ever having a male teacher. He thinks it's pretty cool.

- The entire school uses the ActivClassroom by Promethean. I had never seen this before. Think beyond chalkboards, beyond dry erase boards. It's amazing. I wanted to play with it.

- Either my eyesight is failing or the classrooms have horrible lighting.

- I'm scared shitless of 7th grade Math. The teacher gave us a quick quiz. I F.A.I.L.E.D. The question is at the end of this post.

- I wish I could sit in for 6th grade Reading. The teacher is someone I would have clung to when I was that age. Getting lost in books to escape the dysfunction that was my childhood. I wouldn't mind reliving Greek Mythology and taking a field trip to the Newseum.

- P.E. sounds as awful as I remember. The Locker Rooms still reek of prepubescent bodily changes.

- Indus Valley? No clue what that it but The Z-Man will be learning about it. Social Studies was never really my thing.

- English tested my memory of hyperbole's. I failed but we did get to use the ActiVote. Every student is assigned a number and an Activote button. I love interactive learning, technology and saving paper!

The year is off to a great start. Check in with me before, after and during the first school dance.

Now quick, what's the answer to the Math question? Leave your answer in the comments section. No cheating!! *click on the picture to enlarge*