"The Talk"

I tweeted today that I was going to talk to my son about s-e-x and what they have discussed in the Family Life Unit at school so far. He'll be 11 in August. He's changing in all areas and his voice cracks on occasion. I don't say anything because I don't want to embarrass him. I just smile inside and think back to a time when he was not almost as tall as me. *sigh*

I also tweeted that I was scared and might d-i-e. If you know me, you know I'm dramatic. Not in an everyday everything kinda way but with certain things and situations. My name might as well be Chantel Drama Queeeeen. According to my love, my daughter is the same way. I don't know where she gets it from?!

The talk wasn't actually "THE TALK" more like me trying to open up lines of communication with my first born. I'm unprepared, nervous, scared, clueless and in complete and utter denial that my son will EVER have sex. EVER!

Here's how it went down:

Me: How was school today?
Son: Fine

Me: How was music? (He plays the Trumpet)
Son: Fine

Me: How was the Family Life Unit today?
Son: Fine

Me: I have the lesson plan that your teacher gave me, so I know what the discussion is each day. Do you have any questions?
Son: No

Me: Are you sure? They cover a lot of information in a short amount of time.
Son: Nope

Me: Do you understand what you are learning about?
Son: Yes

Me: Do you understand about the changes that will happen/are happening to your body?
Son: Yes

Me: Does any of it scare you? Are you nervous about the changes or unsure?
Son: Nope, only thing that scares me is getting old.

Me: (thinking OMFG, more than a one word answer, what do I do? what do I do?)
Getting old(er) is not a bad thing. You are only as old as you feel. (stupid answer, I'm an idiot.)
Son: Hmmm

Me: Well, if you ever have any questions I hope you know you can talk to me or your dad or Nik (my love) about anything at anytime.
Son: Okay

Me: Do you feel weird that I'm talking to you about this? Does it make you feel uncomfortable to talk to me about this? It's okay if it does.
Son: No

Me: Okay, well I feel awkward but it's okay and it's important that we talk.
Son: Okay, but we can write down questions in class on a note card and the teacher will answer them the next day in class.

Me: Okay, that's good but you can always ask me.
Son: But you don't know everything!

Me: True, but I know what you are learning about and I remember being 10. I've gone through it.
Son: But you don't know everything!

So, I'm just going to end it there because I tried to get clarification on what kind of questions he would ask his teacher that he couldn't ask me and he got frustrated. Son: Mom, just forget about it. Me: Feelings hurt, on the verge of tears (told you I was dramatic)

All in all it wasn't horrible. It wasn't what I was expecting but then again I'm a chicken. I don't even want to say the word s-e-x in front of/or to my son. Why I don't know? My parents never had the talk with me. I don't want my kids to learn about sex the way I did. According to the 5th grade teachers, all the kids know way more than we think they do and they are already talking about it.

That's scary. What are they talking about? What do they know or think they know? I've heard the stories of 6th grade girls going down on 6th grade boys! That shit freaks me out! I know know know that I can't ignore it and hope my son intuitively learns what he needs to know. I have to talk to him.

What am I so afraid of?

To be cont'd