Looking Fine in '09

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

It’s exactly one month to the day when I embarked on “Looking Fine in 09.” I’ve been wanting to blog about my reasons for starting this journey and at the same time didn’t want too because then its on blast for the world to see. The accountability associated with that turned me off. To be honest, I didn’t want the pressure. What if I failed…again!?

Something is slowly changing in me and I don’t quite feel ready to share BUT every time I step out of my comfort zone, get out of my box, amazing things happen. Every time without fail. So here I go…EEK!

I never had weight problems until I had my son when I was 20. I'm 5'3 and have always been in the 120-125 range. I was a stick figure. Giving birth to an 8lb, 2 oz baby boy radically changed my body. After giving birth I still had an extra 20 lbs on me. I joined a gym, started eating healthier and after 4-5 months I was down to 130. I remember putting on my size 8 work pants and they were a bit baggy. Size 6 was still a big snug but I knew where I was heading so I went shopping.

Fast forward 5 years, I’m back up to about 160. I had my daughter. She was also 8lb, 2oz. I have no idea how I gave birth to two children the exact same weight and length. Guess I’m just special. lol Of course now I have even more weight to lose. I've blocked out the exact number but let's just say I was close to 180 lbs.

I joined the gym a handful of times, start off great, and never really change my eating habits, quit. Hire a personal trainer, she kicks my butt for a few months, never really change my eating, run out of money, quit. Anybody see a pattern here? I’m not completely clueless as to what the hell happened to me. Unhappy 8 year marriage, separation, reentering the work force etc... More details later on that drama.

Fast forward another 5 years (hmmm, I think I've just given away my age), I weigh myself. The number starts with a 2. A FREAKING 2!!!!! I was embarrassed, horrified, depressed, disgusted and angry at myself. So, of course, I eat. At the end of 2008 and having some medical issues, I realized I had to change. I know from my past failures what I’ve done wrong. I decided to try a different approach. Start slowly; implement small changes that I can stick with. You know “what” to do but you just don’t do it. This time I want to actually do the damn thing.

I realize I will never have the body I had before kids because certain body parts just aren't where they used to be.. lol and I know I will never have a model's haven't eaten in 3 weeks, rail thin body. What I want for myself is:

1) To quit smoking (I know, I know...horrible nasty habit! I quit over 10 yrs ago and started again 2 yrs. I say it's because of stress, leaving my ex...partly true.)

2) Be able to walk up stairs or from the garage into my building and not be out of breath

3) Lose weight so my lower back pain will go away.

4) Get active

5) Be able to play with my children and not get tired after a few minutes

6) Try new foods, learn healthier ways to cook

7) Not fold to peer pressure when it comes to eating

8) Cut down on drinking when I go out with friends

My short term goals are to lose 1-2 lbs per week. One of my long term goals is to wear a dress and feel comfortable! I have not worn a dress or shorts for that matter since before I had my son. My son will be 11 in August. So that is a main goal for me. I'm sick of suffocating in the summer in Capri’s. lol

One month in here’s what I’ve done so far. I joined the Weight Watchers at Work program. We have our weigh-ins and meetings at my job. It's very convenient plus they will reimburse me 80% of the cost once I complete the program. That's great motivation in itself. This is not my first experience with WW. I decided to give it another whirl b/c of the reimbursement and I have major accountability w/ co-workers that see me Monday-Friday.

As some of you know I finally got my long awaited Wii Fit. Kids and I opened it up and broke that sucker in last Thursday. That was the last I’d seen of it since tonight. I forced myself to spend 30 minutes doing all Aerobics. Thank God the Hula Hoop game is that section. But I did it. It was fun, I didn’t exactly sweat. I don’t like sweating... lol but I was breathing heavier so that’s good right?

Anyway, I’m a chatterbox. This was a long blog but the short of it is that I’m taking this very slowly! I have over 50 lbs to lose to reach my goal weight, healthy BMI, and all that good stuff. I’ve tried everything else, this has to work… Right?



4 Responses to “Looking Fine in '09”
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I know you are working hard and you will achieve your goal. The battle of losing weight is more about a lifestyle change than it is about a diet plan. You are doing everything in the right way so far and I know you will succeed.

You have a great team of friends and co-workers behind you for support. I'm there with you too! I'll be starting my change soon.

It sounds like you're going to be working toward changing a number of habits all at once! Great! I wish you success and you can do it! I quit smoking cigs back in 2004 and lost 30 pounds over the next three months! As a resource, consider coming to NüHabits (www.nuhabits.com) and keeping track of your progress. I recently started NüHabits to connect people trying to change similar habits - in all shapes and sizes. I'm Derek on there. drop me a line if you decide to try it out!

I know you can do this...baby steps and you will be successful! xoxox

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