I open up my Blog, click new post and then nothing. I sit and stare at the blank screen for hours. Then I save the titled but blank page and sign out. I can't even tell you how many times I've done this open and close dance this week alone. It's not that I don't have anything to say. I do. It's just that 1) with my asshole troll who just waits for me to click "publish" so he can leave a nasty comment 2) fear of hurting those I love when I all want to do is write out my feelings... I don't say anything.
So that is where I am. I don't like how this feels. What is the point or purpose of this blog if it just sits? I have this self imposed notion that I should only write about happiness, sunshine and rainbows. In reality, the past few weeks have been filled with anything but. Can you end a sentence with "but" because I just did.
These past few weeks have been one bad situation after another. I don't mean bad as in I got a speeding ticket. I'm talking about foreclosure notices, cancer, chemo, death, crazy gunmen and natural disasters. Every.Single.Day I was receiving bad news about people that I love and care about. It's all been too much to bear. I feel like if I hear one more sad thing I'm going to lose my mind.
This morning as I was getting ready for work I was watching The Today Show. I stopped and listened to the incredible story about almost 2 year Gore Otteson. Despite all the bad news, the gloom and doom and depression of these last few weeks, I still believe in miracles.